==Phrack Inc.== Volume 0xc, Issue 0x41, Phile #0x02 of 0x0f |=------------------------=[ PHRACK PROPHILE ON ]=----------------------=| |=----------------------------------------------------------------------=| |=------------------------=[ The UNIX Terrorist ]=----------------------=| |=----------------------------------------------------------------------=| In this issue of Phrack, we have renewed with publishing the prophile of an influencial underground character. The UNIX terrorist was already prophiled two years ago but for some editorial reasons at the time, we were not able to get his prophile published. Now that the Phrack editorial staff has less open conflicts with some part of the scene represented by the_uT, we want to make sure everyone remember his engagement. A lot of people believed he was an extremist blackhat hacker proning non-disclosure during his time of activity. That was true. But he was not just this. I have known the UNIX Terrorist in real life seven years ago. At this time, during his youth, the_uT was a softer hacker. Dont get me wrong, the_uT (or whatever he was calling himself before) always had this characteristic personality that made him an exceptionally creative dude. Later on, after he started body-building (rumors mention that he followed the advices of his idol Mike Shifman), he got that impressive shape that certainly represented better his mind shift towards a more aggressive prophile. The UNIX terrorist is the result of this evolution from a young skilled hacker to a disabused philosopher of the underground. This prophile was realized by The Paper Street Hacker in November 2007 for publication in Phrack Magazine #65 by TCLH. Remember the opinion reflected in this interview only engages the UNIX Terrorist and does not represent the opinion of the Phrack editors. So here it is. |=---=[ Specifications Handle: the_uT AKA: daemon10, yu0, jungjeezy Handle origin: Africa Age of your body: 24 Produced in: The Heart of Darkness, USA Living in: The Paper Street Soap Company, USA Height & Weight: Excessive" / 250lbs Urlz: http://web.textfiles.com/ezines/EL8/ Computers: Anything with a network connection and a working ssh client will do... I'd rather spend my money on clothes & entertainment... less tech garbage also means my bedroom doesn't scare the bitches away Creator of: PROJEKT MAYHEM / Phrack High Council / anti.security.is Admin of: Most of South Korea/China ... Member of: NAMBLA (proud sponsors of TOR!) / ANONYMOUS Projects: M4YH3M Codez: stealthrm, the first blackhat RM(1) utility, designed to rm desktop computers silently. Distributed as a Linux LKM, VFS functions are hijacked so that file indexing and rm'ing can be smuggled and interleaved discretely amongst existing file operations. Additionally, keyboard I/O is monitored to determine the sysadmin's presence. Sporadic file wiping occurs either during heavy PLANNED system hard drive use, or occurs slowly and steadily, with timed delays, while the console user is absent. The primary purpose is to avoid the alarming and sickeningly unexpected HDD "crunching" sound that alerts many would-be "rm -rf /" victims to their impending doom. File removal is scheduled according to a proprietary prioritization algorithm whose factors include criteria such as inode atimes and VFS type. Files are secure DOD-wiped in place, but not unlinked, preserving disk statistics. Active since: 1998 Inactive since: I don't sleep... I metastasize |=---=[ Favorites Actors: Assorted government officials, "security experts," and "spiritual leaders" ... Scientologists Films: Apocalypse Now Redux, Happiness, Gummo, Pi, The Big Lebowski, Bad Boy Bubby, Irreversible Authors: Bret Easton Ellis, Louis-Ferdinand Celine, Hunter S Thompson, William S Burroughs, Will Self, Irvine Welsh, H.L. Mencken, Mark Twain Articles: "The New Hacking Manifesto" - warez mullah, PHC Phrack #62 "lyfestylez of the owned and lamest" - r0b1nleech, ~el8 3 Admins: hendy of team-teso, The Digital Ebola[LoU], pm/sneakerz.org Books: The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, The Rape of Nanking, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion Novel: Fight Club, 120 Days of Sodom, American Psycho, Journey to the End of the Night, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Jungle, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Catch 22, A Confederacy of Dunces, The Story of /b/ Meeting: ADMCon / France (2001) Project: The Manhattan Project, The Final Solution Sex: "You're dead if you're homely - my shit's for adults, over eight years old only" Drugs: Beta blockers and dissociatives... just about any substance featured on Erowid or T-Nation... especially modafinil, ayahuasca, ketamine, dinitrophenol, epic stanozololz (Winstrofl), nandrolone, Epi-Pens Music: Revolutionary/violent/mysognist/apocalyptic hip-hop Ex: Jedi Mind Tricks, Necro, Circle of Tyrants, Non Phixion, Leak Bros, Immortal Technique, Q-Unique, Cage, Celph Titled Plastikman Alcohol: Like my women - 15-18 years old, single (malt) and on the fucking rocks Cars: blue dodge viper (vroom vroom!) Foods: Whey protein hydrolysate, Vitargo CGL, BCAA's, l-glutamine, Carlson's Fish Oil Liquid Omega-3 I like: Andrei Chikatilo, 2girls1[cup/finger], Puma Swede, thinspiration, violent sporting (WEC,UFC,Pride), solving intractable problems with violence, achieving EPIC LULZ of unprecedented magnitude I dislike: Fat goths, CISSPs, fat people (in general), women with a BMI over 18, women whose thighs touch when they stand, miniature dogs, people who tailgate or drink beer out of red plastic cups, Basshunter |=---=[ Your current life in a paragraph I'll give you a hint... it doesn't involve getting paid to do computer security research. The only reason I would even consider using a computer anymore would be to meet women of loose moral standards on myspace, or to engage in the wholesale piracy of music and video content, preferrably violent pornography. Or maybe to get directions to a strip club on mapquest... or order various scheduled substances from corrupt Eastern European pharmaceutical manufacturing facilities... In fact, if you're reading my prophile because you just happened still to be reading Phrack in 2008 and stumbled upon it, then I pity you... you fucking closet homosexual. |=---=[ First contact with computers Studying the mysteries of gorillas.bas and nibbles.bas, oldstyle! |=---=[ Youth I was 300 lbs, bespectacled, and acne-stricken. I used to read copies of Dr. Dobb's Journal in P.E. Everybody hated me. Then I underwent an emergency negroplasty and decided to enact my revenge upon the world by inflicting massive verbal trauma through a medium where personal interaction is impossible and everybody feels tougher than they really are. So I installed BitchX and went on EFNET, and the rest, my friend, is history. |=---=[ Passions : What makes you tick I'm distinguished by an acutely defined and unparalleled sense of schadenfreude. Technology is pretty fun too (or at least it was for a while), but what really drove me harder and further was the exciting possibility of using computers to turn the life of a particular fellow human being into a living hell. So no, I wasn't that kid that used to hang out at Radio Shack pulling apart electronic equipment and reassembling it to "see how it works." Shit like that doesn't make you a "hacker" - it makes you a wannabe EE undergrad. Driving people over the precipices of depair and frustration is a great way to pass one's time, but definitely falls short of the pleasure of discrediting or humiliating or otherwise defaming and slandering the ill-earned reputations of the various charlatans and hypocrites in the scene. Publishing the mail spoolz of the wicked, archiving the hard drives of the lame, and rm'ing the weak are all activities I find inspirational. Particularly, I choose to self-medicate my anomie by proving myself smarter and stronger than others. This is the sort of thing with which we'll have to make do until we can one day stalk elk around the ruins of the Rockefeller Center or strip venison in the empty carpool lanes of some abandoned superhighway. For further information about what makes me "tick," please consult Dr. Neal Krawetz's remarkable and highly academic psychological exegesis, fully annotated to official APA formatting standards. |=---=[ Entrance in the underground It all began on EFNET, some time around 1998 (long before they had CHANFIX like dalnet!) in lame and lamer channels like #b4b0 and #feed-the-goats. Historical note: Several incredibly diabolical and motivated individuals from b4b0 would come to rule the virtual entirety of the Interweb with an iron fist for the following decade. Yeah, I started hacking shit virtually exclusively on TCP/IP networks, and started writing exploits long after techniques like heap overflows and return-into-libc were published, so fuck you if you have a problem with the fact that I never scanned shit with toneloc or bruteforced SPRINTNET logins. |=---=[ Which research have you done or which one gave you the most fun? Writing any one of several reliable exploits for intelligently brute-forcing complex remote vulnerabilities, which all made me feel like a hacker from THE MATRIX. Especially writing a universal blind exploit for the Wu-FTPD globbing vuln for versions 2.5.x-2.6.1 (cmdtab power!), and porting the remote client for CORE-SDI's ingenious crc32 deattack backdoor to more exotic operating systems such as Solaris and IRIX (possibly the world's slowest exploit). Also, writing an LKM for dynamically loadable stack/heap execution protection on Linux. |=---=[ How started low-level ? Like most other "underground" groups out there, this one started from the flawed notion that it would somehow be cool to get a group of people together with a webpage and domain name and IRC channel and write a bunch of POC code and publish it to the public and post on sec lists for attention. It was a stupid idea. |=---=[ Personal general opinion about the underground Well, the underground is pretty much dead, but I guess you mostly have the security researchers out there to thank for that one. However, as a delicious proof of the old adage "be careful what you wish for," security professionals have made their own demand scarce. With vulnerabilities so much harder to find, it means that random idiots out there aren't likely to find anything remotely useful by grep'ing for overflows in unsafe C functions. The first sign that things were about to dry out occurred during the format bug craze in 2000, which resulted in the systematic scanning of all varargs style functions that were incorrectly used - the first time an entire class of vulnerabilities has been nearly perfectly eradicated in a body of open source code. Slowly over time, the same thing has happened to most other memory and integer overflows, and casting bugs. What happens as a result? 0day becomes a highly valued commodity. The chance of leakage decreases dramatically because: 1. 0day is much more valuable 2. Few people can find useful vulns, which decreases the amount of sharing. Additionally, smarter people usually find an intrinsically higher value in their own work than people that can't understand the exploits they're using. 3. "When guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns" - Praise be to Allah and the fact that the divine mathematics of exploit creation are now made sacred by entities like WIPO and the DMCA. For nearly a decade, security companies relied on FUD and fearmongering, heralding the imminent spread of global cyber-warfare and e-terror. A particularly salient example of this idiocy would be the infamous Aris Threatcon, second in its contemptibility only to the Homeland Security Advisory meter. These scare tactics worked for a while, as sec. companies boosted sales of products such as firewalls, packet filters, network scanners, and other useless trash by relentlessly trumpeting the seriousness of various "hacker" threats and by strategically scaring the public with their own original (mostly stolen) advisories. Ironically, they ended up scaring legislators more than the commercial sector, and now people like Dmitry Skylarov are arrested for publishing their "astonishing!" findings. Note to security companies: you're attempting to be both the cause and the cure and we've got use for neither. 4. 0day auctions: Blackhats finally realize that it's a lot more lucrative to sell exploit information to shadowy interest groups. Such sales have the added benefit of preventing information dissemination, because it works against the interests of all parties involved. iDEFENSE, the first and largest name in hacking middlemanry, was forced to purchase exploits from the underground when they realized they lacked the technical skills in their meager R&D labs to find any exploits on their own. But who in their right mind would consider auctioning off vulns at Argentinian prices to a whitehat sweatshop that will just pawn their findings off as their own, and then publish them to Bugtraq - when they can make the same sale to somebody in the underground for 5-10x the cost and rest assured that the vuln will stay alive? Nowadays, it is claimed that the Chinese and even WOMEN are hacking things. Man, am I ever glad I got a chance to experience "the scene" before it degenerated completely. And remember, kids, knowing how to program or wanting really badly to figure out how things work inside doesn't make you a hacker! Hacking boxes makes you a "hacker" ! That's right! Write your local representatives at Wikipedia/urbandictionary/OED and let them know that hackers are people that gain unauthorized access/privileges to computerized systems! Linus Torvalds isn't a hacker! Richard Stallman isn't a hacker! Niels Provos isn't a hacker! Fat/ugly, maybe! Hackers, no! And what is up with the use of the term "cracker"? As far as I'm concerned, that term applies to people that bypass copyright protection mechanisms. Vladimir Levin? HACKER. phiber optik? HACKER. Kevin Mitnick? OK, maybe a gay/bad one, but still WAS a "hacker." Hope that's clear. |=---=[ Memorable Experiences First box I ever owned (dropstat'd son) Watching widespread panic and hysteria grip IRC and various security mailing lists after the publication of ~el8, esp. #2 and #3. The PHC Music & Film Festival, notably Joost Pol rms freebsd.cn The multi-homed attack/rm'ing of efnet irc operator "seiki," which resulted in PHC primacy and alpha male hegemony over #phrack Preparing the memorable vitriolic speech "Wolves Among Us" from scratch, in less than 30 minutes... then attempting to deliver it without inducing fatal hilarity Becoming the Freddy Krueger of the Internet/IRC Celebrating Kwanzaa online in #darknet with assorted South African infosec luminaries Civil rights champions worldwide cheer when a Polish transsexual becomes the most recognizable expert on the vanguard of kernel rootkit (un)detection research Having my first proposed Phrack prophile rejected by humorless German staff The suceessful social engineering of hacker "dvdman" - which resulted in the retrieval of an explicit masturbatory video of aforementioned individual iDEFENSE contributors and their laughably low sell-out prices are revealed in "fake" Phrack Vomiting in my mouth (just a little bit) the first time I walked into the Alexis Park Hotel The communal rm'ing of w00w0's jobe, which became the only known time in history where the same individual was rm'ed concurrently by multiple intruders, who, up until the time of the attack, had no knowledge of each other's presences Logging into my computer, relying only on muscle memory to type, after forgetting the alphabet and being too fucked up to read the letters on my keyboard The look of surprise on the Cheshire Catalyst's face after his password was shouted at him repeatedly, at approximately 80 decibels, while he was entertaining fans stringz attempts to replicate ~el8, fails, and is shamed offline forever securityfocus.com adds thumbnail pictures to its original columns - I finally find out infosec rockstars such as Don Parker, Scott Granneman, and Dr. Neal rawetz really look like! Slackware founder Patrick Volkerding sends an open SOS to the world after forgetting to brush his teeth nearly results in fatal halitosis. Watching the IRC suicide/accidental deaths of rippah/electrosk0t unfold Marty Roesch reaches midlife crisis; denies own obesity and the owning of snort.org |=---=[ Memorable people you have met The Blue Boar, at the very first Phrack High Council Ethics Roundtable The Rain Forest Puppy (sounds like an adorable stuffed animal from Mattel(C) but dresses in shiny reflective raver clothing) Captain Crunch (No thanks du0d I don't want you to open up my chakras with a special "energy massage") Ofir Arkin, world's leading ICMP fingerprinting technologist Honey Dew Moore, child hacker prodigy and world's leading exploit cataloguer Shok, world's foremost Mormon hacker Surprisingly, some actual hackers (various members of MoD), while attending HOPE, the worst con I've ever been to The Death Vegetable, largest carbon footprint of any netizen Packet Fairy |=---=[ Memorable places you have been spaf's mail spool (although I'd give it back in a heartbeat for a chance to take a joyride in his electric wheelchair instead) cvs.openbsd.org s1's famous "Studio 31337" HACKING FORT Rloxley's child porn archive |=---=[ How started PR0J3KT M4YH3M ? The idea obviously isn't something entirely new or original. The earliest known historical precursor to Project Mayhem was Erostratus, who set fire to the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Though his motives were questionable (he achieved the act merely because he had no other way of immortalizing his name), the base concept was there: destroying something beautiful just for the hell of it. Note: destruction and vandalism out of ignorance and fear are decidedly less noble in nature. Obviously, there was some inspiration from the novel, Fight Club. As far as scene-related influences, there were some early precursors... the venerable e-zine "CITADEL" and some of the better work of BOW (Brotherhood of Warez). ~el8 was probably the single biggest source of creative energy fueling PR0J3KT M4YH3M, and is still remembered to this day as the greatest, most revolutionary blackhat publication of all time. But what really kick-started PR0J3KT M4YH3M was the apparent lack of success of anti.security.is, a formal anti-disclosure movement constructed from a lucid and cogent document illustrating why it would be better for all parties in the infosec community to stop publishing exploit code. But as the US government is fond of saying of the Taliban, it soon occurred to many of us that these whitehats, like their white-turbaned friends in Afghanistan, "respond only to violence." Enter PR0J3KT M4YH3M, a spawn off PHC's Fight Club division. All in all, PR0J3KT M4YH3M had an impressive run, resulting in the ownage of high profile whitehats including Theo de Raadt, Kevin Mitnick, and Marty Roesch. IRC servers were conquered and their operators were vanquished. Prominent "hacker" magazines were stolen and leaked prematurely. Hard drives were dd'ed, tar'ed, gzipped', gpg'ed, and shipped off to snu.ac.kr. Codes of whitehats were backdoored and published unexpectedly. Violent/offensive/sacrilegious blackhat ASCII art was created. Heap exploitation tutorials were rebranded. Hitlists of the whitehat community were compiled. Info-security professionals were fired. Whitehat books & movies were leaked. g4yh1tl3r lived, died, and was born again. And we all had a lot of fun. |=---=[ Things you are proud of Closing Captains of Crush #2 (multiple times, with finesse) Coining several catch phrases which framed the zeitgeist of the blackhat movement of the early 21st century, including "w00w00 is p00p00" Becoming the first "hacker (over 5 ft. tall) on steroids" Transcending the blood-brain barrier Reading the last 5 issues of Phrack without learning anything new Stealthily avoiding all hidden toilet/shower cams at HAL 2001 Becoming the first hacker to write exploit headers in ebonics Proud author of an exploit that appears bundled with O'Reilly's "Network Security Assessment" book, after infosec genius Chris McNab deletes comments/headers and submits it for inclusion Becoming the first person to rm a box from a cellular device (while at a nightclub ala "Swordfish") Coming from a family free of mental retardation/physical birth defects Demonstrating to the world repeatedly how stupid it is to be a whitehat Triumphing over hackers such as mosthated, missnglnk, gov-boi, ben-z, ytcracker, kf, and joewee to earn the title of "blackest man on efnet" Learning how to krump proficiently after watching only 15 minutes of Rize Serving for several years as the High Chancellor of *.ac.kr and *.ac.jp Ordering the world's only team ~el8 tank top from cafepress.com World's fastest typer on sub-anaesthetic doses of special k Successfully masking my bipolar disorder in order to become a fully integrated and respected member of 'society' Rotating planes of polarized light counterclockwise around various enantiomers |=---=[ Things you are not proud of Ever having released code to the public Ever having posted to a security mailing list in which the intention of my correspondence was less than utter sarcasm, mockery, or malice Failed attempt at rm'ing def-con.org while at Defcon, due to network problems How underappreciated this prophile will inevitably be Not also ordering the "Countdown to rm" ~el8 wall clock from cafepress.com Unknowingly losing an underground ytalk speed typing competition to a rogue TIOCSTI program |=---=[ Opinion about security conferences There are any number of flawed reasons why people attend/speak at security conferences. If you're looking for recognition or publicity, you're probably better off committing suicide on Youtube (see "Budd Dwyer" Wikipedia for ideas). If you're looking for repulsive female companionship or fellow loser friends to socialize with "IRL," you'll probably save some time and airfare by checking your local Craigslist first. Otherwise, the proof is in the pudding. 10 years ago it would been inconceivable that there would one day be "security conferences" in retard 3rd world shitpile countries like Mexico, Malaysia, and Pakistan. Countries whose only contributions to the progression of the digital age have been the vigorous repeated typing of "jajaja" and "kekeke" and "gf0rce pakistan!!!" in various IRC channels and online message boards. Apparently, high tech vocations have taken over! My suggestion is to stock up on sombreros, Nikes, and taxi cab medallions now before they become relics of the past. |=---=[ Opinion on Phrack Magazine 1985' ? 1995' ? 2005' ? '2007 ? I've always thought this magazine sucked, but in regards to the specifics of the question at hand, it's probably gotten steadily worse over time. OK OK... I'm sure the editorial staff would like me to say something positive here so here's my best attempt: "PHRACK MAGAZINE - Hey, at least it's not 2600!" This will probably be the worst issue yet, but that's fine - I'm just using this prophile as a mouthpiece for my dogma of physical anabolism and moral decay. |=---=[ What you would like to see published in Phrack ? An article on phones! (Not VOIP!) Definitely more mail spools... a renewed focus on homemade improvised explosive devices... maybe even some tutorials on drug trafficking for newbies |=---=[ Shoutouts to specific (group of) peoples Doing (R.I.P.), tr4shc4n m4n, krad, odaymaztr, Funny Bunny, module of rhino9, g4yh1tl3r, drater, the crazy Turk, Rocky the virgin hacker Jesus, zilvio, all my Icelandic friends, sk8, j & r, Hans Reiser (everybody on IRC talks about murder, but nobody actually goes through with it), everybody on asylum & its admin, my old friends from #!!ADM and #!hax, the zoroastrian insomniac prophet & his partner in crime |=---=[ Flames to specific (group of) peoples pm/gaius (hey did you know there's a facebook group for HERT now?!?), hd moore & his ersatzsploit project (we commend you on your entrepreneurial vision of turning your look-mom-i-just-got-owned tcpdump logs into exploits with your own name on them), Richard "Dick Theft" Johnson (1500+ on his SAT; abject failure at real life), The Condor, THE WAREZ D00D (your next ten bag of heroin will be cut with ricin), jobe, Philip Emeagwali (father of the supercomputer/Internet), slashdot, Valdis Kletnieks (if I can't pronounce your name, it's time to kill yourself or go back to dragging a plow in Latvia), "Dr." Neal Krawetz, Stefan Esser (currently being hunted down by European PROJECT MAYHEM operatives with instructions to sever the right hand in accordance with holy e-jihad Shariah), Eric S. Raymond (still piecing back together his ~ from backups after the brutal desecration of his OSI bazaar via CVS 0day), Electronic Souls, hack.co.za, xfocus, nsfocus, Souljah Boy, "Tiger Team", GNU, Jose Nazario, Luigi Auriemma, tsao[IC], divineint (I'm sure the Singaporian government would have had you caned by now for trading IRIX/VMS/DGUX/AIX/HPUX/ Windows src code if you weren't already in their employment), Raven (congratulations on having a vagina... it's not even a good one, but it's still better than your brain so you should probably try hooking instead of thinking for a living), Don "Beetle" Bailey, Ron Dufresne, Gadi Evron, lcamtuf, Ulf H?rnhammar, jeff moss, pete shipley & other vampire hackers, jericho, marcus ranum, chesswick & bellovin, lamo, markoff/shimomura/mitnick, theo, knuth, dijkstra & other CS theory fags, HACKER CRACKER |=---=[ Quotes "WTF SAID I WAS A TRADER?" - The Warez Dude "eye dont wipe logz" - Kareless KaRL "I'm proud to say I have committed every sin in the Decalogue." - Sir Richard Burton "irc warfare isnt very fun when u can just vanquish your f0ez... i feel like i go thru life with IDDQD on...walking thru firewalls like IDSPISPOPD" - the_uT "I hate to think that all the whitehats in the world are concerned that phc members are busy hacking their home machines when people are really playing ninja gaiden and hocking off their computers to buy $1000 dogs." - gayh1tler "While you were sleeping we helped ourselves" - Canaan Banana "I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all" - Mike Tyson "I've got 5 words for you: drugs smuggled in presidential baggage" - lu1g1 "I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian" - Mike Tyson "I just want to conquer people and their souls" - Mike Tyson "My power is so discombobulatingly devastating I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm." - Mike Tyson "step in2 my e-z bake oven!" - gayh1tler "I think my mask of sanity is about to slip." - Patrick Bateman "its not nice to treat other people's boxes like toys-r-us" - unknown "With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels." - Fight Club "Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!" - Tyler Durden "Eat your lima beans!" - Pavel "Papa" Sandrak "A race condition is how fast you can hit the reset button when you start hearing your hdd whine" - unknown "We will achieve samadhi while meditating over s1's studio 31337 MOTD" - the_uT "Like our great leader, this kernel module selects a child and touches him in a very special way." - warez mullah, THE EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN LKM "Cuz if you can take a fucking dick, you can take a joke" - Immortal Technique "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist" - The Usual Suspects / Baudelaire "So I'm rapelling down Mt. Vesuvius, and my rope breaks and I begin to fall and im falling, falling. Ahhhh, I'll never forget the terror! Then I thought to myself, hey Hansel. Haven't you been smoking peyote for 6 straight days and couldn't some of this maybe in your head? " - Zoolander "Shit! If I'd known it was going to be this kind of party I'd have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes!" "ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED? STOP CRYING AND FUCK YOUR OWN ASS WITH IT" - facialabuse.com "So don't ever talk shit. And remember something nigga, while you rave and rant - a roach can live for nine days without its head, but you can't" - Immortal Technique "d00d thats not a LADY OF THE PEN, thats ___ from CUMFIESTA!" - unknown "Can somebody please tell me what the fuck A RED MAP is???" "i did it 4 the lulz" - ANONYMOUS "we dish out rm's like petri" - the_uT "There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." - HST UNF UNF "Behold I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" - Robert Oppenheimer "It is better to find 10 dead babies in 1 trash can than to find 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans." - Unknown "NIGGA, THE RM IS THE NEW EUGENICS... EUGENIX" - unknown hacker "WTF SAID I WAS A TRADER?" - The Warez Dude "For personal reasons, I do not browse the web from my computer. (I also have not net connection much of the time.) To look at page I send mail to a demon which runs wget and mails the page back to me. It is very efficient use of my time, but it is slow in real time." - Richard Stallman "and it shows that you are a complete dork. you are disconnected from reality. how can we take you for serious?" - mbalmer@openbsd.org in response to Stallman, officially winning at irony... FOREVERER "2 FAST 2 FURIOUS 4 U" - the_uT, upon winning an underground irc speed typing competition |=---=[ Anything more you want to say Looking back on my involvement in computers, I am very happy that the peak of my activity occurred right during the turn of the 20th century. Hacking was no longer as simple as manual labor (wardialing etc.) but finding vulnerabilities and writing exploits and tools was not exactly as tedious and prohibitively time-consuming as it is currently. To say that I would rather commit seppuku than adapt to the challenges of a changing world by auditing code for SQL injection vulnerabilities and client-side browser exploits is not an exaggeration. On the upside of things, hardcore pornography is now far better and more widely and freely available than ever, and productive programming like UFC can be seen on channels like Spike TV for free. Every day, more and more youngsters are born who are many times more likely to contribute articles to socially useful publications such as Encyclopedia Dramatica instead of 2600. Spreading terror and wreaking havoc for "epic lulz" have been established as viable alternatives to contributing to open source software projects. If you're a kid reading this zine for the first time because you're interested in becoming a hacker, fucking forget it. You're better off starting a collection of poached adult website passwords, or hanging out on 4chan. At least trash like this has some modicum of entertainment value, whereas the hacking/security scene had become some kind of fetid sinkhole for all the worst kinds of recycled academic masturbation imaginable. In summary, the end is fucking nigh, and don't tell me I didn't warn you... even though there's nothing you can do about it. Good night and good luck, - the UNIX TERRORIST |=[ EOF ]=|