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Current issue : #13 | Release date : 1987-04-01 | Editor : Taran King

Phrack XIII Index	Taran King
Real Phreaker's Guide Vol. 2	Knight Lightning
How to Fuck Up the World - A Parody	Thomas Covenant
How to Build a Paisley Box	Thomas Covenant & Double Helix
Phreaks In Verse	Sir Francis Drake
R.A.G. - Rodents Are Gay	Evil Jay
Are You A Phone Geek?	Doom Prophet
Computerists Underground News Tabloid - CUNT	Crimson Death
RAGS - The Best of Sexy Exy	Sexy Exy
Phrack World News XIII	Knight Lightning

Title : How to Build a Paisley Box

Author : Thomas Covenant & Double Helix

                               ==Phrack Inc.==

                     Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #4 of 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/|\      the Neon Fucken Knights    /|\
\|/   present with no alternative   \|/
/|\HOW TO BUILD A PAISLEY BOX!      /|\
\|/   by the fucked up Blade        \|/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All right, so i mfucken in 40 cols..what's it matter? i just
realized that many idoits out ther still dont know how to make one of
the greatest anarchiust tools ever, the Paisley Box. This little
beauty will do just about anuyt6hing ya want, including:
--Seize operator lines
--Remote control over all TSPS and TOPS consols
--All other box functions combind in oine, includin blue, beige, and
blotto

so ya wanna know how to build this fucker and go out terrorizin ma
bell..well sit tight, we wont bother with any fucken diagrams cause
those are for dweebs (right necro? right!) here we go!

first of all get about 20 lbs of quality drugs and 3 or 4 kegs. you
might
think that you need this for the contruction of the box but, you don't
you take it all yerself!!
this will mellow ya out enuf to follow our planz. lessee, oh yea
parts list:
 --about 50 ffeet of copper wier, hopfully insulated
 --an old (prefer touchton) phone that ya dont need no more
 --a honda genorateer (don't pay for it, just card it. right necro?
right!)
 --and one of the empty kegs that ya drank to put it all in. the
genarater will fit fine and the rest ya can attach to the outsid if
thats your fucken urge.

now for tha actualy construciton details:

oh shit, we forgot one fuckin thing. go to you local hadware stoer and
find the guy who owns it, get a gun and blow his fuckin head off (you
can card the gun two) this isn't for the box but, it fun and it will
make satan happy so yor box will work better.

now with the empty keg and all the stuf we put up there ( i think
about 20 lins ofr so up )_ attach the genarater to all the other shit
however ya please, now get some nice paisley wallpaper from your mom
9(steal it if she wants it still) and put it all on the oputsid of teh
keg. you now have a 100% genuine Neon Knights approvd Paisley Box!

How touse:

hook that son of a bithc up to yir modem (thats only if you got a 212
cat. if you don't then you are an asshole anyway and the box will
blow you fucken house aprt but, satan will be happy.)

now turn yer dam computer on, and when the prkmpt comes up(
hardwird into the box of cors! whatdday think we are, stupid? )
type: 666 (space) SATAN RULES (space) MY SWEET SATAN!

then the menu will coume up on you screen and it will say.

1) fuck the operator around
2) take control of the pentagon
3) imitatte boxes (blue, blotto)
4) fuck-a-geek

choose whatever ya want, except if ya get tired of it and want to
trash th thing type 666 for a choice. the box will sef destructt, yer
computer will explod, anmd in its trahsing death throes speak an
chant taht will summon satan to take you away to the depths of
HELL!!!

 use this masterpece proerly, and remember: NO FUCKEN LOSERS!

`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'

Call these genocidal systemz:

The Gatest of Hell 555-51325-634637-3
  1200 ONLY DAMMIT!
Mephisto's Suicidal Nightmare  2436-234-666 (of course!)
 1200 ONLY DAMMIT!
The Dead Fuckers Realm 2436-99-2309
 300 only for now (dammit!)

sorry for the sloppy look compared to our usual k00l neat files, but my
computer got confiscate d by the fucke n pigs so i have to
telerwit this fucker usin a dumb terminal, until i card another!
should be within the week!

but don't forget to call the rad Metal AE
201-879-[666]8 9600 baud only (god fuckin dammit) 4 drives with 710
megs soon (we promise this time).
Kneon Nights "We're Rad, we kill children!!"


end of file



i said end of file dammit!





what are you still fucken readin for? hit escape you stupid
shithead!


if you dont fucken hit escape i will call satan on you!!!

fuck the dead!

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 Oral roberts is the anti-christ!!!

oh and remember: this has been a fucken parody from thomas fucken
covenant and double fucken helix. Call Thieve's World, the last
bastion of free thought: 616-344-2718.

"Whaddya mean I don't believe in God? ... I talk to him every day!"