---[  Phrack Magazine   Volume 8, Issue 54 Dec 25th, 1998, article 02 of 12


-------------------------[  P H R A C K     54     L O O P B A C K


--------[  Phrack Staff


Phrack Loopback is your chance to write to the Phrack staff with your
comments, questions, or whatever.  The responses are generally written by
the editor, except where noted.  The actual letters are perhaps edited
for format, but generally not for grammar and/or spelling.  We try not to
correct the vernacular, as it often adds a colorful perspective to the
letter in question.


0x1>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My boyfriend turned homself into a transexual and dumped me for another
guy.What could you do to help me (please)show him how much I appreciate him?
Or,what should I do?THIS letter is no prank.This truly happened and I was
hoping for some advice from you so PLEASE don't blow up my
computer.Sincerely,B.C.

    [ I swear to god this is an actual letter.  I can't make this stuff up
      (no sarcastic commentary needed here). ]

0x2>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

An interesting zine you have, but I have to say my favourite part is
the loopback section. The writing in the letters is passing at best,
while the satirical commentary is absolutely first rate. I just read
loopback from #53 and I just kept laughing. Way to go. Hey, as I
say, don't take life seriously, it doesn't take you seriously.

    [ Thank you.  We aim to please. ]

0x3>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the system a school uses called?  PBX?  How can I hack the system
and what type of priveleges can I gain?

LocoJ

    [ You can listen to the school officials talking about how much of a 
      retard they think you are and how they are going to hold you back another
      year. ]

0x4>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever wandered how people called hackers keep on annoying government
agencies and major corporations?

    [ I often find myself wandering that very thing. ]

Most secure government information is not a secret to these people, no
protection guarantees safety against their breaking in. 

    [ No one can eat just one! ]

Some people may think that in order to be a hacker one must be extraordinary
smart, use expensive equipment and have contacts with the underground world.

    [ That's about the size of it.  And we all have sex with models.  That's
      key. ]

This is not true.  Recent studies show that a computer user is at least
twenty percent smarter than an average person.

    [ Uh.  Yah.  That's a great statistic.  Who doesn't use a computer
      these days?  The only people not using computers are either mumbling
      retards or are hooked up to computers to live.  ]

If you are reading this you are smart enough.

    [ However, if you are *writing* it, evidently, you're not. ]

All the equipment you need is your computer and modem.  And try to avoid
contacts with the underground world - they are trouble.

    [ Indeed.  Stay away from the people who really know what they are doing.
      Be sure to blanket yourself with blissful ignorance.  Live a sheltered
      life alone.  Stay away from people.  They will only hurt you with
      words. ]

All you really need is information.

    [ "..which you won't get here!" ]

For the first time information kept secret both by government and hackers is
available to public. Our informational report contains everything you need to
know about hacking including: *"Hackers 101" - the ultimate and comprehensive
step by step guide to how it's done. This incredible guide written by an
accomplished hacker especially for beginners will answer following questions:

    [ Accomplished at bathing himself and being able to tie his left shoelace
      and most of the right one. ]

-What should you know about hacking and where to start?

    [ Start at your local brothel! ]

-Programs needed.
-List of access numbers.

    [ How about a list explaining what these numbers are supposed to access. ]

-How keep yourself safe.
-Cracking programs, what they do and how they work.
-UNIX, an easy approach.
-Password shadowing.
-Dialouts.
-Scanners.
-Brute force hacking.
..and much more.

    [ -programing for the ultimate idiot
      -hookers and pimps: a two day tutorial
      -circus animal social engineering
      -building chicken flavored air conditioners ]

*Hacker resources on the Internet: The most complete collection of real life
hackers websites where you can find:
-programs
-tools
-scripts
-most recent know-how and techniques
-news from the world of hacking

    [ NEWSFLASH:  YOU SUCK ]

-tones of other useful information.

You can receive our report as a printed material (only $9), on a floppy in
*.txt format (only $7) or by email in *.txt format/ZIP file (only $7).

    [ And you can receive a thump on the head from the Phrack staff if you
      actually send these precious retards any money. ]

For domestic orders S&H is $1. For orders from Alaska, Hawaii and foreign
countries please add $5 for S&H. For email orders S&H does not apply.  Order
now and as a free bonus you will receive a guide to Internet sites with
thousands of totally free software titles (limited time only). Send cash,
check or money order to:

TWS, PO Box 1357 Rancho
Cordova, CA 95741.

For check orders please allow one week for clearance.

    [ ...so i can ask my mom to cash it for me... ]

Disclaimer:
Please keep in mind that any information we provide is for educational
purposes only.

    [ Educational?  Try mildly recreational at best. ]

TWS is not responsible for any actions of its clients.

    [ ...because we have no clients... ]

0x5>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before I start, if this is the wrong address I should be grovelling to
then I apologize profusely.

    [ It's probably not the wrong address, but I accept your apology for
      what will probably be an inane question. ]

I'm relatively new to the entire computer world.  I mean I've had a
computer for a number of years and the internet for about 15 months but
I feel that I don't know enough.  

    [ As if one can ever feel that she `knows enough`. ]

I'm BORED with what I can do and I was wondering if you could tell me or

    [ Bored with nothing I can understand. ]

perhaps face me in the direction I need to go to learn how to hack.  The
very basics.  The amoeba level of hacking if you will.  

    [ Ok.  Start small.  Start with hacking napkins and forks and spoons,
      then slowly move onto more complex devices like drawers and scissors.
      Someday you can move on to wall clocks and `the clapper`.  You'll
      get there eventually. ]

Ever since I've been online I've always wanted to know how to hack.  You
see the articles on captured hackers and the news on firms trying to boost
online security and it makes you want to go out there do stuff.
So if you've got the

    [ "Do stuff"?  Well.  You've certainly got the right mentality.  Hey, 
       maybe sometime I can come over to your house and we can watch T.V. or
       listen to CDs or something. ]

time, it would really be appreciated.

                                        Much appreciated,
                                        -Dallor

0x6>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

do you have a chat room? i was told you could teach me some stuff about
computers.i am very new to the computer world @ my old age.i mess my system
at every 2weeks do to the fact i dont know what to do!

    [ I suggest you look into other hobbies.  Maybe nursery rhyming? ]
 
- naynay

    [ Sha-naynay! ]

0x7>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, just wanted to congratulate you guys for an excellent
magazine and keep up the hard work. Also I have noticed that
ppl can ask for things. So could I please have a two storey
mansion, Porsche, Harley Davidson, yacht, five million dollars,
seven beautiful girls (one for each night), ..................
.............................................. thank you :-))


cheers Rundus

    [ You are a shallow materialistic person Rundus.  People all over the
      world are suffering from famine and disease.  Maybe you should give
      some thought to them. ]

0x8>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ P53-02@0x12: ... I would like to know more about marshmellows... ]

Well, since Phrack has gifted me with so much knowledge, it's time for me
to start giving back!

    [ NIGH time if you ask me... ]

Marshmellows date back to Ancient Egypt where the ancients took the roots
from a mallow plant/tree and made it into a sticky paste. From there it
was cooked to form a puffy yellowish treat for the Pharoahs and such. The
mallow "treat" became popular in the 30's as a confectionary treat.  However,
due to the long process of making these treats, they did not reach the
popularity of today until Marshmellow making was revolutionized in the 60's.
The "jet-puffed" method was introduced. The sticky base material was mixed
with sugars and other additives and puffed using a airation type machine.
The marshmellow comes out of the machine in long tubes and is cut to form
the shape of what we know as marshmellows today.

For the history of corn flakes, SPAM, or Jello, please contact your
neighborhood loser.

    [ Hrm.  I suppose you think marshmellows are in the upper echelon of
      confectioneries?  WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT? ]

My thirst for knowledge is not limited to computer systems.  Sadly..

Ray K.

    [ Tune in next issue when Ray gives a dissertation on Peter Scolari's
      career in the television industry entitled: "From Bosom Buddy to
      Honey I'm Drunk Again and Out of Work"... ]

0x9>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey!
I was wondering if you could help me to find some things?

    [ Sorry bro.  I don't know where your family is.  I think they've ditched
      you.  I say pick up and move on. ]

Well I'm in to games. And I know that x-files have got a game with the
same name. Do you know where I can find it so that I can download the
game on my computer???

    [ Hrm.  Try Best Buy or maybe Babbages. ]

And do you know some good sites where you can find ONLY mp3s???

          Thanks for your time
                  Cybers

    [ What an excellent and unique nickname! ]

0xa>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pretty clever.........I saw the web page on the tv........PHRACK......bein'
where you come from wasn't hard to find this page.......

    [ Uh.  Rite. ]

Just thought it was hilarious and totally in the right to show that not
everyone is as safe as they would like to think.....  A SUPPORTER of your
beliefs I am......

    [ Cool.  We need more zealots for our secret army. ]

Thanks fer showin hacks still live a breath beneath everyone else........

    [ Huh? ]

after all it's only wrong if you get caught......consequences dictate the
course of ACTION...(REV. JAMES KEENAN MAYNARD,tool)

    [ Well, actually, getting caught is independent of equity.  And letting
      consequences dictate the course of action seems rather backward and
      after-the-fact-ish. ]

Bit-Basher......

0xb>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just thought I would write in to voice my concern about a growing problem
in our community: Lamers and Idiots.

Alot of the time people ask me what makes up a lamer.

    [ Perhaps they are asking you because you fit the mold so nicely. ]

IN my opinion, if you are 2 or more of these, you are a lamer/idiot.

    [ In my opinion, you are an idiot if you make lists about what comprises
      idiocy. ]

1- unnecessarily ask for information that any damned idiot could find in
10 minutes on a search engine

    [ Somehow I doubt people of any level of intelligence come to you for
      answers.  Idiots can smell each other out pretty well. ]

2- Talk in leet-speek ("haY d00dZ Eye'm uhn 3l33t hax0r, g1v3 m3 p455w0rd5!")
and expect everyone to give you the slightest sliver of respect

    [ Please don't ever email me or Phrack Magazine again.  I don't care
      how much of a good idea it seems, don't do it.  The heat death of the
      universe had better happen before I hear from you again. ]

3- Shoot your mouth off about stuff you know NOTHING about

    [ Or in your case, ANYTHING. ]

4- Claim to run or own high sites (ArchAngel claiming to own the L0pht is an
excellent example).

    [ Who the hell is that? ]

5- Ask for exact instructions on how to hack a site

    [ A little game I like to play when I'm bored is `find the moron`.  Woop!
      There you are! ]

There's more criteria, I'm sure, but I just can't think of it.

    [ BUT HOW WILL THE IDIOTS AMONG US COPE!@? ]

Newbies constantly ask to be taught.As for the newbies out there -
who are on the verge of becoming lamers - I think the best advice we can

    [ Oh.  No.  Nono.  Don't do that.  Please.  `We`.  Do not refer to us as
      peers. ]

give them is that hacking is not a "teachable" skill. It's something that
has to be learned through experience - you have to know how things work,
how things interact, and that invlves educating yourself. Never rely on
someone else to give you acurate information - always look for the facts.

    [ Good plan.  Never attempt to learn from anyone.  Be your own mentor.
      School yourself in ignorance. ]

Well, I'm not really sure what that rant was about but thanks for
listening to it..

    [ Well if you don't then I sure as hell have *no* fucking idea. ]

{BTW Phrack 53 was great. Keep it up.}

    [ Hey Thanks!  Always nice to hear when we're doing a good job! ]

0xc>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, i'm new at this. how do i get started? see i want to find out some
yahoo codes. is there anything i should know? i don't have a clue what
is legal and what is not...

    [ Ok.  That's simple.  `Cyberspace` is kinda like the Old West.  There's
      one guy who hangs out and deters criminals with his magic busket of
      moral redemption.  Any wrong-doer who comes in contact with it instantly
      regrets his sin and is then forgiven.  The busket is faulty though and
      sometimes (about 30% of the time) the person just explodes.  However,
      scientists and alchemists from Brown University are working on a magic
      pill that will prevent this occasional exploding.  It doesn't so much
      *prevent* the exploding though, as much as it pieces the person back
      together *after* the explosion.  The rub is that you have to take the
      pill prior to explosion.  And no one wants to take the pill because it's
      like a red flag to the authorities that you are a wrongdoer.

      Oh wait, maybe that was a dream I had. ]

form Bisker

    [ Shape-of... a spider monkey!  Form-of... a bisker! ]

0xd>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need help I know you must be thinking that I am some lamer with AOL and
Windows who will never in his life become a hacker.

    [ I kinda just had you pegged as someone who is scared of punctuation. ]

Well, most of that is true but I (Hopefully in time) will become a hacer.

    [ Godspeed. ]

I need to know how do I protect my computer from other hackers?

    [ Ok, I'll give you an insider tip.  Here's what we do to keep our
      computers safe from electronic ruffians:  we use them once, then throw
      them away. ]

Are there any .txt documents that you think I should read?

    [ Check out the one entitled `My Two Mommies`.  It answered _a lot_ of
      questions for me. ]

I need all I can get on this topic so i can finally move on to the next step
(I don't know what that is yet my friend is helping me become a hacker).

    [ Did he read "My Two Mommies"?  If not, he's a charlatan.  He's probably
      just telling what you want to hear so you'll sleep with him.  I'd shank
      him once in the leg to be safe. ]

I don't care how many things I have to read just as long as I can become a
hacker.

    [ Just think!  If you're reading this, you're *that* much closer! ]

P.S. I had no clue who to send this to so I picked you (Doesn't that make you
feel special?). Also please don't make this public I went to some websites and
found Hackers love making fun of lamers and posting the mail they get on there
sites so I have this feeling that your going to post this letter somewhere.
Just don't please.

    [ Not a problem.  I'll keep this to private email. ]

0xe>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just browsed yr web page... you are an interesting person.

    [ Agreed. ]

I 'd love to come to your r00t party (honest); may I?

    [ Absolutely not. ]

I leave in greece and I am planing to travel to the u.s. this xmas.

    [ That's nice. ]

It would be a grate opertunity for me to meet you and your friends.

    [ Yes, but it's just as good an opportunity for you not to meet us. ]

PS: I am not a hacker, I just admire your work.

    [ Well, thank you very much.  That's good to hear. ]

                             liquid, Wed Sep 16 06:24:09 1998

0xf>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi todos

    [ Who? ]

i was just reading some files about hacking and phreaking by french writters
than one or two suggestions came to my mind

(i) stop writing like a pre-pubescent boy with lot of ***eZ and B1abL4(blabla)

    [ YAH!  YOU DAMN FRENCH COMMIE NAZI BASTARDS! ]

(ii)be more explicit and professional like in PHRACK

    [ YAY AMERICA! ]

so i hope that i have rung the bell to the wrong door, and that the french
scene does not look like that.

    [ Huh? ]

another thing: does hack include studying and find flaws in religious system ?

    [ Shure, why not? ]

because in fact religious system are formal system based and we can always find
paradox (godel's theorem) if yes i would have a futur paper for phrack

    [ Alright. ]

i have an os name for mythrandir 'TRYOS' it's very short and really summerises
his work

THANK FOR ALL YOU DO FOR THE HACKER COMMUNITY
PHRACK IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ

    [ WELL GOOD.  IT'S THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. ]

TFAYD.                   

0x10>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

man just to let you know, this is some very "educational" info.  can't
say that i learned a lot, but this info help me catch up the past five
years.  been in the navy, man it sucked, but i want to commend y'all.
but it's like they say, smart enough to do it, then do it, but it's your
consequences.  to all the "real" people out here in this beloved world,
too bad they don't know reality.  anyways, this is dope, it is the
bomb.  

    [ Word `em up on the level. ]

--vadaka--

0x11>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi. I am OmniLynx, and I'm thinking of starting a new Web-Zine for hackers.

    [ Hey!  Sounds like a great niche market! ]

In the true spirit of hacking, it will be free to anyone who wants it.

    [ In the true spirit of martyrization and self-glorification. ]

Unfortunately, at this point it is still just a thought, because I do not
have enough sources to make it any good. I'd like to know if you would want
to become a source for my Web-Zine. All you have to do is scout out tips,
tricks, news stories, anecdotes, etc. for or about hackers. 

    [ Please, may I?  Can I be your intern?  I'll be your Jimmy Olsen!
      Let me set aside my professional career, my personal life, and my ezine
      with it's 14+ year history and get _right_ on that. ]

Unfortunately, you can't be paid for this, because it is free, but you will

    [ BAH!  Who needs money?  Your adulation is payment enough! ]

get your name published and, possibly, be able to express your thoughts in
a column.

    [ SHUT UP!  I would be able to write a column?!@  Wow!  I need to break
      out my `Sony's My First Zine Kit` and get started! ]


OmniLynx

    [ Dude.  That's ironic. I almost chose the nick `EverpresentBobcat`. ]

0x12>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

HI phrack,

I am just reading phrack #52 `phrack loopback'.

You are just making me to laugh to dead. Better than any joke mailing-list

    [ HOLY SHIT!  Dude, I don't want anyone to laugh to dead!  If everyone
      laughs to dead, how will I get any repeat business? ]

fred

0x13>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Been fucking around on the internet for about 3 years.  After I got over
the intial rush of "WOW, look at all this fuckin software!"

    [ And porn. ]

(and concurrently dumping OS/2 and msdog for Linux), I started reading...and
reading....and reading...then I ran into Phrack.  In a word - KICKASS!

    [ Thankz Cartman. ]

I've been reading all of the issues the last couple of daze and I'm really
impressed with the overall feeling of it.  It's great reading about past
'battles' with the telco and systems (Phiber Optik stuff comes mind), the
DETAILED instructions given about various terminals, and the schematics
and stuff. History, Software and Hardware.

    [ Don't forget all the great articles about bombs!  Smoke bombs, bolt
      bombs, acetylene bombs, shell bombs...  Ah yes, the mid-80's were a
      tumultuous time when youth felt the need to blow things up. ]

Besides pussy and beer, I can think of no more interesting subjects.

    [ Except perhaps degrading and objectifing women. ]

I applaud the way you've kept it going by passing it on.  I applaud that
you've remained true the idea "All information is public information - and the
aquisition thereof".  I applaud the fact that it has survived this long - for
free.  Next to the kernel - PHRACK[0-5][1-9] just might be the most important
bits on my machine.  Keep it up fuckers - cause sure as taxation without
representation, they are gonna try and stomp you (us).

    [ (you). ]

p.s. pointers on to how to hack sendmail to totally rewrite the headers
and envelopes to reflect a completely bogus username/system (for
purposes of anonymity - such as email like this) would be
greatly appreciated.  If the pointer is 'grep sendmail ./PHRACK*' then...
..<sheepish grin>....nevermind...

You fuckers rock.....

Deicide

    [ I've decided you suck. ]

0x14>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can prog............If you tell me how to hack I'll send my best
progs.......

    [ Oh, that sounds like a fair trade. ]

I am leada of Warco

    [ I am Lothar of the Hill People. ]

0x15>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can you get me in touch with anyone in Chicago who can help me retreive
deleted documents from my home computer.
Thank You

    [ I think Emil is free.  Give him a ring. ]

0x16>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW WHERE I COULD FIND OUT HOW TO CONNECT TO AND
HAACK PEOPLE'S PERSONAL COMPUTERS, OR MAY'BE YOU KNOW.

I'D APRECIATE SOME ADVICE,

    [ Don't breed. ]

X-3

0x17>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need An Infectiouse Virus to corupt a small network
If you have any idea where i could get one send me aline

    [ I need love and understanding.  I'll trade you. ]

0x18>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey...I'm not into hacking or anything, but I read an article about you and
Phrack in the Worcester Telegram and Gazzette this morning.  I just wanted to
tell you that I feel your not bending to goverment pressure and everything is
very kool.  This isn't about anarchy, it's about rights; freedom of the press.
Ya know?  Anyhow,  I will not take up anymore of your time.  Remember, hackers
have rights too.

    [ Some of us have mean leftz too. ]

0x19>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It would be nice to be able to contact someone to do some hacking for you
in a specific manner.

    [ Sorry.  We only hack in a vague, nebulous manner. ]

Do you have any listings for this type of individuals?

    [ Try http://www.fbi.gov/fugitive/fpphome.htm.  We usually recruit from
      there. ]

0x1a>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi there!
        First off, just let me say how incredibly awesome and all powerful
Phrack is, especially issue 52.

    [ A SUPREMELY POWERFUL JUGGERNAUT OF EFFICACIOUS POWER! ]

You have an amazing 'zine here, and I bow before you and worship the ground
you walk on. In fact, I think world domination is now in your grasp.

    [ Shure, if all the world was as obsequious as you, we'd be set. ]

< Yes, I'm hitting on you :P >

    [ Cool.  Are you a hot chick?  If not, back off fagbasket. ]

        Really though, I'm just writing to thank you for Phrack Loopback.

    [ A self-fulfilling prophecy.  Here we are. ]

While everything in Phrack is good, and the majority is great (as rated on

    [ How can everything be good, yet the majority be great? ]

the sliding scale of total goodness), the thing that gives me the most
spiritual fulfillment every issue is Loopback. It provides 78% of daily
allotted humor and 37% of the required sarcasm for mental well being.

    [ And now you're a part of the love.  *hug* ]

        So, once more, thank you for the brilliant staff you have at
Phrack, and thanks as well to the people who write in!

    [ KEEP THOSE LETTERS AND CARDS COMING! ]

Unit3

0x1b>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, i know i am going to sound very lame when i ask this.  I would
really like it if you could give me a quick breif description on how to
hack into system remotely i can hack but i can break into systems
without having a login and pw, well thnx ne ways

    [ You suck. ]

0x1c>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't really know who to contact about this.  It's a complament to all
of phrack magazine about the owning thing.

I am glad to see u guys take it well.   I don't know if i would be able
to take it as well.  But it is definitely respectful.  I and many other
people already respected phrack magazine a lot.. but now I definitely
have a lot more respect for phrack.

    [ Dude, you get anymore respect for us and you'll officially qualify for
      the `Phrack Magazine Hoover Super Suck-up Award`.  It's a pretegious
      award only given out to a select few.  You're defnintely in the
      running. ]

SPy109

0x1d>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

sir
when i down load an item from your page its in X's O'o and boxes.

    [ Oh.  You must have reached our tic-tac-toe server by mistake.  Try
      the URL again. ]

i tryed ms/word note pad/ and no luck. can you help,im also looking for an
article on how to go through the back door of AOL

    [ I think there's one in the Virginia office, on the second floor.  It's
      Penski's office, and he never locks his door, that fucking moron. ]

from my office to my home over the Internet.

    [ Oh.  In that case, did you try wishing really, really hard?  That
      usually works for me. ]

so i could check on my spouse who i think is doing me wrong.

    [ Oh, I can assure you, your spouse is up to no good.  I think you should
      definitely get a divorce and take the kids. ]

thanks

0x1e>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ P53-07: A Stealthy Windows Keylogger ]

Dearest Phrack,

I read  "A Stealthy Windows Keylogger" in Phrack 53.7. Huh? Just
call SetWindowsHookEx(). It's built right into the operating system. It
lets you grab key strokes. It's simple. It even works on Windows NT.

There is no reason to go hooking interrupts or writing chunks of
inline assembly.

The documentation explains how SetWindowsHookEx() works. If that's still
not enough to go on, the Microsoft SDK ships with example programs that
grab key strokes.

        - Iskra

0x1f>-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I see and hear all this about hackers; however, I never see and/or hear about
how it is done.

    [ Like ninjas, true hackers are shrouded in secrecy and mystery.  You may
      never know -- UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE. ]

The reason I am asking is because of a soon-to-be-ex-wife who stole me cash I

    [ Are you Irish? ]

operate my business with.  I know she has placed the money in a bank somewhere
in my home town.  Is there a way to find out which bank if I know she SSN?

    [ I bet she's one of those fiery Irish Lass's with flowing locks of red
      hair and glittering green eyes.  You think she'd go for me?  How much
      money she gank from you...  Enough for her to run away and lavish me
      with gifts? ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----[  EOF